The 2009 Least Valuable Player Awards – NFL Edition

Quarterback – Jay Cutler (Chicago Bears)
Cutler leads the league in interceptions, his team is just 6-9 SU and though he’s playing on a team that doesn’t have a real number-one receiver, Cutler edges out all other quarterbacks for one reason and one reason alone. To acquire Cutler, the Bears gave up two first-rounders (2009, 2010) and a second rounder (2009). If Cutler had done remotely well this season, the Broncos would’ve received a late first round pick. Instead, they’re going to get a top-10 pick because Cutler couldn’t get his act together.

Cutler’s bitch and moan routine when Denver coach, Josh McDaniels, tried to trade him not only made Denver a playoff contender, it bolstered their 2010 NFL pick. On top of that, the trade made Chicago a mid-carder at best and screwed their chances of improving through the draft. The Cutler trade made the Bears worse, ruined their future and will make his former team a formidable playoff contender for the next three years.

Runner-Up – Jake Delhomme (Carolina Panthers)

Running Back – Marshawn Lynch (Buffalo Bills)
Nobody doubted Lynch’s abilities until he came back from a  three-game suspension due to a substance abuse violation. He was supposed to turn the Bills in to upset specialists after they opened the season with a near-upset of the Patriots and a win over Tampa. Yet in 12 games this season, Lynch has just 480 yards rushing and 2 touchdowns. So much for being a “savior”.

Runner-Up – Matt Forte, Clinton Portis, Julius Jones, Darren McFadden, Brandon Jacobs

Wide Receiver – T.J. Houshmandzadeh (Seattle Seahawks)
This was definitely the hardest award to hand out, but T.J. takes the cake. He has 76 catches (17th) for 845 yards (29th) and 3 touchdowns (66th) this sports betting season. Of course, you can credit a lot of that to the inconsistencies of the Seattle offense overall, but Hoosh was targeted 129 times this season (12th) meaning that he had plenty of chances to get in the endzone, boost his stats and improve Seattle’s chances to win. He probably wishes he had stayed in Cincinnati instead of bolting to a team like Seattle which won’t be a contender until they find a suitable replacement for Hasselbeck (hint: it’s not Seneca Wallace).

Runner-Up – Santonio Holmes, Chris Chambers

Coach – Jim Zorn (Washington Redskins)
This one was really easy. While Mangini and Smith both showed unreal ineptitude, Zorn was the only guy who was actually stripped of his play calling authority. Somehow he managed to hold on to his job, and get paid in the  process, but nobody had less to do with the success of their team than Washington’s Jim Zorn. I still have no idea what he was doing wearing a headset or looking at a clipboard after his play calling duties were stripped. At least he had the best seat in the entire house as he watched his own team flounder throughout the year.

Runner-Up – Lovie Smith, Eric Mangini

Defensive Players – Jason Taylor (Miami Dolphins)
I really wanted to give this award to Ray Lewis, but even losing a major step in his athletic ability couldn’t stop Lewis from ranking in the top-10 in tackles. Jason Taylor, on the other hand, spearheaded the league’s 25th ranked defense and ranked up 41 tackles (287th), just 3 forced fumbles and managed just 1 interception. The only saving grace is that he tallied seven sacks, but really who cares?